Best Mascot

Going off of a post from yesterday, I'm going to continue to judge the AHL teams by their aesthetics in the hopes that it will help me choose a team to cheer for. Today it is the mascots. Some of you may be crying foul since the mascots often appear in the logo, but I'll forgive your ignorance since a mascot on paper is not a mascot in real life and what looks good in Microsoft Paint, may be the stuff that gives children's nightmares in real life.

Lets get to it.

Atlantic: Hershey Bears

Discounted tickets for fans of @TheHersheyBears for tonight's game: http://t.co/zVJPNi7Qmj And Coco will be here! pic.twitter.com/LLWKfftkGS

— York Revolution (@yorkrevolution) June 8, 2015

It's name is Coco! Open and shut.

Fine, I'll consider the others. Remember that thing  I said before? About logos looking good on paint but mascots being the stuff of nightmares? Check and mate is the Phantoms mascot, which looks like tye-dye fanatic. I would say google it, but don't. It's like doing a google image search to self diagnose a wart. It can't be unseen. The Falcons mascot is also equally angry.  Penguins was a deranged muppet looking creature with eyes and no head. The providence mascot is also kinda scary. Most of them were scary, but the Portland Pirates pulled up one good design and one bad design so to be safe, they both lose. The Wolfpack and Soundtiger mascots were surprisingly good, but...

IT'S NAME IS COCO AND IT LIVES IN HERSHEY!

North: Toronto Marlies

One more round of congratulations for @IAWildCrash14, our 2015 Mascot of Character! 👏 pic.twitter.com/konoFZWhJD

— Iowa Wild (@IAWild) August 17, 2015

Surprisingly hard. So, easy ones to dismiss, Ice caps. I like the puffin, but don't make it look so sad. Then again, it lives in Utica, so maybe that's just a sad place to be. Senators, you mascot looks like an axe murdering cartoon character. Rochester, your moose looks like its on pain killers. This is an intervention. As for the real contenders, Albany, you were so close but the dog is just too fat and fat people make me sad, but overall really good. Utica, I really like your Alien design, compared to the Lehigh Night Terror, you get it right, but ultimately Marley in his latest state is just simple enough to work. I would say tie, but I think of it this way, which one looks more hugable? Sure, I may want to have a drink with the Utica mascot, but the Marlies mascot is just more approachable. Just don't Google Syracuse Crunch's old mascot.

Central: Iowa Wild

One more round of congratulations for @IAWildCrash14, our 2015 Mascot of Character! 👏 pic.twitter.com/konoFZWhJD

— Iowa Wild (@IAWild) August 17, 2015

Dear god, how many of them want to eat children?

All of them. All of them do. But more importantly, why is the Lake Erie Monsters mascot a bird? And if it had to be a bird, why did it have to be a bird that eats children? What the hell goes on in the
Midwest to make these things acceptable? Wild gets it because the only one that wasn't angry, or had eyes proportional to its head. I'm looking a you checkers mascot!

Pacific: San Antonio Rampage

#TBT T-Bone circa 2002! pic.twitter.com/ovzOWiaE75

— San Antonio Rampage (@sarampage) May 7, 2015

Uhmm, San Diego, I can see the face of a person in your mascot. Just letting you know, it kinda loses the effect... Oh, and if I can trust the words of John Hammond, Condors are on the verge of extinction, and I can see why base on how ugly that mascot is. That said, this was the hardest division to choose a favorite mascot. For one, I don't think the Stars or the Barracuda have one yet. The heat mascot is so stupid I almost chose it on principal alone, but it really came down to San Antonio and the Reign. San Antonio's mascot with its bare white eyes makes me feel like I'm looking at an actual cartoon, and the effect is almost hypnotic. The reign on the other hand have a dark knight who rides an ATV and slays dragsons. It is clear cut winner. But, evidence on the facebook page makes me think that the dark knight might be getting retired, so on the basis of not being sure, I have to declare San Antonio the winner.

Best Logo

This is just a dumb side-commentary, just me thinking about what teams I feel like I should invest most of my time, and I'm judging right now on the most shallow criteria possible:

Looks.

I mentioned in an earlier blog where aesthetics are key, so its important. So, my choices for best logos from each division.

Atlantic: Lehigh Valley Phantoms.

Fair use

This is kinda a hard one bt the Phantom being the Flyer logo twice was a nice touch. But then again, the competition was a jacked up/drugged out penguin, a decent entry with the Falcons logo, a cat and a dog that don't look distinct enough from eachother, a classy bear, an overly complicated pirate and less effective retread of the Bruins logo.

North: Syracuse Crunch

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This one was a little bit easier. There were some very classy ones such as the Rochester Americans which evokes patriotism and reminds me of Captain America. The Utica Comets is distinct and reminiscent of an actual NHL logo in many ways, and the Albany Devils retread is kinda cool in how it works out, almost better that the NHL devils logo. As for the rest, IceCaps are just meh, the Senators are kinda scary looking, and the Toronto Marlies are like the Bruins in that they aren't a fun retread of the NHL logo. Syracuse Crunch however is just a neat superhero design that brings me back to my days as a kid reading Silver Surfer. And since as a kid I didn't read Captain America, the Silver Surfer design is closer to my heart.

Central: Iowa Wild

Fair use: Public Domain

Ugh, I so want this one to be a tie. The Charlotte checkers logo is so nice in how it evokes a real top-grade team feel. Its the sort of logo that can really go on a hat. Simple but distinct. But that said the Wild Logo is just classy. It has that warm, rustic feel to it that makes me feel at home. It is just a great example of how the NHL logo works well with the AHL logo. Plus compared to Insanity Wolf Meme (whom WILL eat your children), angry moose (whom will also eat your children, albietly more slow), the lake monster whom will eat your children provided they go swimming, your friendly cartoon skull and cross-bones adamant on feeding your children poison, and finally biker pig and generic griffin whom probably won't hurt your children, but will probably be dicks to them none-the-less, the wild logo is just pretty and non-threatening. I could look at it all day.

 You have two fantastic standouts among a sea of duds. I don't want to have to choose. Screw it. It's a tie.

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Pacific: San Diego Gulls

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This was perhaps the easiest of them all. Attitude Barracuda, is just a 90s video game reject I feel, Rampage is classy but lacks flair, Condors is too complicated, Heat and Ontario retreads suck, and while the Stars retread works, it isn't enough to overcome the originality of the Gulls logo. It feels like its out of a Mighty Ducks movie, which brings the AHL back to a more kid friendly state of mind. At least one infinitely more kid friendly than the Central division.